Joy

Lately I have been trying to find JOY from any source that I can. I have been thinking lately about JOY and wondering if it is possible for a Christian to completely lose ALL JOY..? Even in my most depressed state I still can look to the cross and find JOY even if it is just a small ounce, I still find it. In the Bible we read in James 1:2-4

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

My life seems to be completely different than it was a year ago. Sometimes I find myself really missing that previous season of my life and often makes me lose my joy. Constantly I feel like people are leaving me and when I sense this I begin to hold onto that relationship for dear life. I have been doing this lately and instead of the relationships getting stronger I end up suffocating them and the light that once was so bright begins to dim even more quickly. I don't know where this derives from, this feeling of abandonment but it is strong in my mind and has been for many years. I have been learning that no relationship is promised tomorrow, except my relationship with Jesus Christ.

Life right now is HARD, and it is hard for me to say that out loud.. so i'll say it again- Life right now is HARD. My Dad's health is very uncertain, i've lost friendships that I thought were strong, I miss LifeBuilders in Detroit more & more each day, I'm graduating from college in 10 weeks with no promise of a job, and I'm praying about if God wants me to donate one of my kidneys to my Dad.

It is moments like this that I remember I am not a little girl anymore. Lately I have just wanted to lock myself in my room, curl up on my bed and cry. And i'll be honest, I have done this a few times the last couple of weeks. But then God whispers in my ear, that I can't hide from life, he nudges me to get out there and find JOY in the life he has given me. It is difficult but with God's strength I know I can tackle any trial that comes my way. I may not always respond like an adult, I may curl up on my bed and cry, but eventually I'll make my way back into life. My life is a blessing and I need to make every effort to be a blessing to other peoples lives.