Today Larry (my boss) reminded the teens that I am leaving next Thursday. One girl, Sheila, asked me afterwards if she could talk to me in private. We went into the office, and as soon as I closed the door she started crying. She said that, "she didn't want me to leave, she is going to miss me so much. I have been so influential in her growth this summer, and she doesn't know what to do without me." Of course by this point we're both in tears, and she gives me this strong hug and just sobbed on my shoulder. I told her that I would do my very best to stay in touch with her and we would figure out ways to talk (she has no cell phone, no permanent address, and no access to internet). I told her that I would come back and visit, and she said " I sure hope God brings you back for good, because I need you here." WOW!
I am only writing all this out because it keeps replying in my mind. I know that next Thursday is going to be a very teary goodbye. I'm not emotionally ready for it. I wasn't ready for it today, either. The more I think about leaving the more I feel like i'm supposed to stay. Obviously I have to go back to Chicago and finish my last semester, but after that.... who knows! My grandma told me the other day on the phone, " Don't you leave anything up there when you come home, because you think you're going back...." The more I think about that, the more it feels like i'm just leaving for a short time, then i'll be back. Almost like this has become a second home... I have no idea what God will do in my life, or where he will take me. But right now, i'm feeling more and more pulled back to Detroit. This is so scary, because I came here with the idea that I would be here 9 weeks and that was it, but now...
WOW! PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AS I TRY TO FIGURE THIS OUT, AND AS I BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE WITH MY BOSSES. THEY NEED TO WANT ME BACK AND FIGURE OUT A WAY FOR ME TO WORK AND LIVE HERE. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE NO FULL TIME STAFF, BUT I COULD BE THE FIRST ONE, JUST LIKE I WAS THE FIRST INTERN.
God has given me so many visions for LifeBuilders, and when I envision the future of their ministry, i'm in that vision. Please pray for me!
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI have had to leave a couple groups of ministry kids...a couple times each. So I know what that feels like and when we get to hug in a couple weeks, it's going to be a knowing one.
Count on my prayers for your ministry and their ability to hire you full-time.
Also...your blog's title reminds me of the first cd I ever owned: Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt. yaay.
Love you sister.
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